My inbox is full of brands offering me an ‘elevated’ experience if I buy their merch and I wonder what it will cost

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Enough is enough! It’s time to address a phenomenon that’s been plaguing the fashion industry for far too long. We’re talking about the perplexing obsession that brands seem to have with using the word “elevated” to describe clothing. Seriously, why is everything suddenly elevated? Are we living in a world where our shirts have spontaneously sprouted legs and started ascending into the heavens?

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Whack a logo the size of ten cent coin to a t-shirt and you now have an ‘elevated’ t-shirt experience

It’s become impossible to peruse any fashion website without stumbling across this buzzword, proudly displayed alongside the latest “elevated” t-shirts. But what does it even mean? Are these shirts somehow superior to their non-elevated counterparts? Will they grant us some sort of divine sartorial enlightenment?

This t-shirt is not only elevated its also essential like you can’t live without having it
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Let’s face it, we all know what an elevated shirt really is. It’s just a fancy way of saying “overpriced.” Yes, that’s right, you heard it here first. Brands are desperately trying to justify exorbitant price tags by using lofty, grandiose language. Sadly, no amount of syllables can hide the fact that you’re a paying a premium for a glorified white tee.

And let’s not forget the irony here. The whole concept of an “elevated” t-shirt is inherently contradictory. T-shirts were created for comfort, simplicity, and a laid-back vibe. They’re the epitome of casual attire. So why on earth are we now striving to elevate them? Pretty soon, we’ll have ballgown t-shirts with sequins and tulle, and who knows what other fashion atrocities.

Even a plain tracksuit is not immune to being defined as ‘elevated’

If brands really want to impress us, they should come up with more creative descriptors for their clothing. How about “awe-inspiring t-shirts” or “cosmic tees”? Maybe “extraordinary tops” or “paradigm-shifting pullovers”? We’re open to suggestions that don’t involve elevating anything.

Here’s a pair of elevated white sneakers to go with your elevated white T-shirt and elevated tracksuit.

It’s time for brands to put an end to this linguistic madness. Let’s stop using the word “elevated” as a blanket term for any clothing item that carries a hefty price tag. Our humble t-shirts deserve better than being thrust into the stratosphere of dubious fashion marketing. So, dear fashion industry, please give us a break, and let the t-shirts be t-shirts – unencumbered by the burden of elevation.

Disclaimer: The author of this piece may or may not be wearing an elevated onesie while writing.

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