RUNWAY RUNWAY Qantas’ new Rebecca Vallance uniforms spark eastern suburbs job exodus to the skies
BY: Kartya Vucetic
Qantas has just pulled off the greatest recruitment campaign in airline history. Not with higher wages, or better fringe benefits, but instead, with Rebecca Vallance.
Last week, the airline announced that the Sydney darling of “clean girl but make it elevated” fashion will be designing its next staff uniforms. Now, everyone with a Dyson Airwrap and a neutral-toned capsule wardrobe wants to push a drinks cart.
Job applications to Qantas have reportedly spiked by 200 per cent since the reveal. Reportedly, eastern suburbs offices have already started to resemble ghost towns as twenty-something women march out clutching resignation letters and oat lattes.
“If I can’t wear Vallance to my PR job in Paddington, I’ll wear it to Fiji in Business Class,” said one freshly unemployed media exec, already practising her aisle-strut in an old Bec & Bridge sample sale dress.
Insiders also say the uniforms are destined to become the next great Depop hustle come their debut in 2027. Expect listings like “Qantas Vallance Blazer — worn once, faint pinot stain from turbulence, $950 ONO” or “Crew issue silk scarf, $300 firm”. The term, “mile-high chic” will also definitely be referenced frequently, according to sources.
This wouldn’t be the first time an airline uniform was listed on Depop | Image: Depop
The announcement has also left Paddington wine bars bracing for chaos, with owners worried about losing their staff to the skies. “Half my floor staff have applied to Qantas,” said one pub manager. “Apparently champagne service is more chic at 40,000 feet.”
And for passengers? Don’t expect much. Sure, your flight attendants might look like they’ve just stepped off the runway at Carriageworks, but they’ll still be the ones telling you your carry-on is oversized and that no, you can’t upgrade to Premium without paying.
Editor’s Note: This article is intended as satire. The collaboration between Qantas and Rebecca Vallance on the airline’s next staff uniforms, however, is very real.
