KNOCKED OUT
President Trump’s inauguration entirely overshadowed by Zucky’s very-chalant tit take

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Scary day to be a woman, gay person, minority group, or really anyone who isn’t Donald Trump. This morning, Australia woke up to Trump’s official inauguration as America’s 47th President.

And while the day will undoubtedly go down in history books, Trump may have been upstaged by one of his close associates. Enter: Meta CEO, Mark Zuckerberg.

It appears the spirit of Trump’s administration already seems alive and kicking, with Zuckerberg caught blatantly sneaking a peek at Lauren Sanchez’s cleavage during the ceremony. Twice. Because who cares if the world’s on fire when you’ve got your best mate’s fiancée’s chachoongas to lock into?

And yes, that sentence sounded even weirder out loud than it did in my head.

Sanchez, who is currently engaged to Amazon billionaire Jeff Bezos, seemed blissfully unaware of the moment. But you can only imagine the awkward Instagram DMs flying between Zucky and Bezos on their Meta-verified accounts right now. It also marks the second time in a week that Zuckerberg’s name has dominated headlines. Last week, many conspiracies emerged surrounding Meta’s alleged involvement in the TikTok ban.

Other highlights from the ceremony? Elon Musk’s multitude of fascist salutes, Ivanka Trump’s Handmaid’s Tale-esque outfit, and the unsettling realisation that the US is highkey spiralling into a tech oligarchy. And with what seemed like more bro-influencers and tech moguls at the inauguration than actual Cabinet members, it’s probably a valid concern.

So yeah, can’t wait for this next chapter.

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