PRIDE Sydneysiders miraculously discover non-binary identity after learning it saves them $800 on car insurance
BY: Kartya Vucetic
Sydney has experienced what experts are calling “the single largest overnight gender enlightenment in Australian history”, after reports emerged that non-binary drivers were receiving drastically lower premiums from insurers NRMA and Allianz.
Within hours of the news breaking, Service NSW centres were reportedly overwhelmed with residents requesting licence changes after having “deeply exploring their authentic selves”. It coincidentally coincided with their discovery that it could cut hundreds off their annual car insurance.
Image: Facebook, Ben Fordham
One Mosman man, having previously self-identified as a “straight-up boring male, mate”, described the revelation as life-changing.
“Listen, I’m not saying I didn’t always feel a little…fluid”, he told reporters, “but if expressing that saves me $890 a year, I think it’s time I live my truth”.
By midday, inner-city Facebook community pages were flooded with posts asking “Does this apply to comprehensive cover too?” Many commenters had already changed their profile picture to one including a rainbow.
“It’s time I live my truth, too” said one Facebook user | Image: PC Mag
State officials have yet to comment, mostly because they’re still trying to understand how the hell Allianz accidentally triggered a cultural shift larger than Mardi Gras.
NRMA and Allianz have also yet to explain how the pricing structures were approved, though insiders claim the differential was created because the companies “didn’t know where to put non-binary people in the algorithm”, which, if true, would be the most on-brand corporate sentence ever uttered.
“We didn’t know what to do when it came to the drop down bar” | Image: Allianz Insurance
Meanwhile, Sydneysiders remain committed to “living their truth”. For now, one thing is clear: Sydney has entered a new era where gender may be fluid, but insurance pricing models are somehow even more so, and absolutely no one knows when, or if, the companies plan on changing any of it.
Editor’s Note: While the insurance premium discrepancies reported this week are true, all quotes and characterisations in this piece are satirical.
