OPINION Why is everyone feeling triggered by Dave rn? Have we all dated a Dave?
BY: Kartya Vucetic
About a month ago, my boyfriend and I broke up. It was going well, until all of a sudden it wasn’t. After two solid months of dating, and years of being friends prior, the almost overnight switch up was unsettling to say the least.
Fast forward to last Thursday. My skin’s cleared, I’ve regained my appetite and overall, things are feeling pretty good. I switch on the television to the evening’s episode of MAFS (like always), and proceed to watch the Jamie and Dave catastrophe that goes down at the weekly dinner party.
The episode ends and I’m left with one burning question: why am I feeling triggered?
This man is triggering TF out of me | Image: Channel 9
Now, for those of you who need to catch up to speed, I’ll give the brief summary. Essentially, after two months of dating and arguably being the model MAFS couple of the season, Dave, out of nowhere, declares last week to Jamie that he actually has, more or less, no feelings towards her. Oh, he does “care about her” though, so I guess that’s something.
Jamie is left heartbroken. After telling him she loved him just the week before, and having previously no reason to believe things were anything but good, she is left gobsmacked. The group? Also really fucking confused. Up until now, this couple has been going from strength to strength.
By the time last night’s Commitment Ceremony comes around, it’s become glaringly obvious that things aren’t get any better any time soon. And let’s be real, watching Dave hit every branch as he falls down the fuckwit tree was a hard watch. This man has so obviously shut down and shut the world out.
Up until now, Jamie and Dave have been one of the strongest couples this season | Image: Channel 9
It was sad as much as it was angering. And I, like everybody else, was left wondering: where the fuck did it go wrong? This man idolised his wife one minute, and the next, laughed to the boys that he “didn’t hate the girl”. He obviously had feelings for her, so where had they suddenly gone?
A phone call to my mum and an early night later, I woke up this morning to a sunny day. What I didn’t expect to see on my morning doom scroll, however, was a collective rise of people who had taken to TikTok overnight to express how they, too, felt triggered by Dave’s behaviour in his past few episodes.
“Girlies, we’re all recognising this very specific crash out that Dave is exhibiting on MAFS, aren’t we? We’ve all dated this guy, haven’t we?” Women’s advocate @whatmiadidnext leads with on her commentary from the evening’s episode.
I scroll down to the next video, where Abbie Chatfield posts a vlog video about the episode alongside the caption, “It reminded me of my avoidant ex”. It appears that she, too, was able to relate deeply to the episode.
There’s been many a theory tossed around as to why Dave has suddenly changed his tune (from him cheating with Veronica, to his dad being in hospital). The broader conclusion that’s been collectively accepted is that in reality, he’s just really fucking avoidant.
I initially felt compelled to put the coincidence down to a very well trained algorithm. Then I looked at the comments section.
“Avoidant guys like to cosplay real feelings and playing house”, one person wrote.
“We’ve all dated that man who flips out of nowhere”, another commenter added.
“He didn’t need to be that cold. Very triggering”, and another.
“That’s why we’re all taking it so personally”, and another.
This is exactly how I feel watching this rn | Image: Channel 9
Okay, so maybe it wasn’t just a coincidence. Could the national hatred currently being sent Dave’s way be attributed to the fact that we’re all just super triggered from our past experiences, and projecting those onto our TV? Are there that many people that are truly, genuinely avoidant? And if so, how have we as a collective yet to find a better solution to avoiding it?
Unfortunately, I (like the rest of us) have none of the answers to any of those questions. And while I think we all know where these two lovebirds are headed, only time will tell if Dave really will be able to ‘prove it’ to Jamie. Until then, I guess all we can do is wince at our televisions and book in an extra session with the shrink.
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