RECAP We’re officially up to the flogging a dead horse stage of Married At First Sight
BY: Tahlia Pritchard
Another week, another struggle on the couch as our MAFS couples struggle through their relationships as we get to the pointy end of the experiment. While we did finally say good riddance to one couple tonight, there’s no doubt in our minds a few more should’ve called it quits. Did they, though? Of course not, they’re waiting for their big final vows moments.
The fallout of Jamie and Dave was still the biggest talking point amongst our couples as they got ready for the commitment ceremony — because why focus on your own issues when there’s another couple to gasbag about?
Meanwhile, Jamie and Dave had a frosty catchup, after Jamie expected him to come over fighting for her – she wanted flowers and poems, he came over with an air of avoidance and dead eyes – and things ended with Jamie telling her cursed fish that she wasn’t going to write stay during the commitment ceremony. You may remember the fish as the traumatised children of Sierah and Billy, before they found solace in their new home with Jamie and Dave. These poor fish have seen enough. Time to flush them down the toilet with the remnants of all our trust for Dave.
Let’s dive into which couples survived another commitment ceremony (against all odds).
The Good: Awhina and Adrian, and Jeff and Rhi
Of course it pains me to put Adrian in any category that is labelled “good”, but that’s the thing about this season. As soon as you deem someone the villain and most-hated person in Australia, someone else comes to steal their crown.
Adrian and Awhina are having fun again and being “curious” about each other, which seems to mean they’re actually asking each other questions to get to know each other instead of just fighting and having makeup sex. They opt to stay another week.
Golden couple Jeff and Rhi are still going strong and are, once again, our only hopes for watching any sort of functional relationship.
The Mid: Teejay and Beth, and Ryan and Jacqui
I know they keep trying to make Teejay and Beth happen, but it’s just not happening. Beth again questions Teejay’s romantic attraction towards her, as the couple admits to only shagging once and then falling into the friendzone straight after. Teejay professes his attraction for her, but says he wants their “souls intertwining” before they move back into sex. No one questions what the fuck that even means.
Moving onto the most bizarre couple the experiment has ever seen, Ryan said he sometimes feels like he’s in a university debate with Jacqui, after asking him how he’d feel about being a stay-at-home dad. Jacqui tries to explain she was asking such questions as she needs someone who believes in equal opportunity in relationships, but is unfortunately made to look crazy again because she throws out the example of, “What if I was in a coma?”, ultimately losing everyone along the way.
But things are going to be okay because Ryan has realised women don’t always have to be in the kitchen and is now cooking Jacqui eggs after Jeff cooked her eggs during the partner swap.
The Bad: Paul and Carina, and Dave and Jamie
Our once strongest couples have swiftly fallen to the bottom of the pile, with Carina suffering trust issues with Paul, and Jamie remaining unconvinced Dave is into her sexually and romantically.
After Paul tries to justify why he thought it was OK to break his wife’s trust and tell Awhina what Carina said about Awhina’s twin sister Cleo being of a lower “calibre”, he’s questioned about his emotional intelligence due to the fact he still hasn’t realised why that would break Carina’s trust. Oh, and also why he thought it was okay to just tell Awhina in general and insulting her by default.
Paul finally realises for the first time in 30 years how important trust is in a relationship, and despite their hurdles, the couple decide to battle it out for another week.
Our separated fish parents Dave and Jamie try to see if John, Alessandra and Mel can repair the damage done with Dave dealing with his walls being up and Jamie dealing with having put all the legwork into the relationship to get it this far. She buys him gifts, she compliments him, she initiates sex, and Dave was happily lapping it up until he realised it’s his turn to put effort in.
He tells Jamie he “thinks” he has feelings for her, which is just what every gal loves to hear after they profess their love. Jamie now feels like she’s been in a “fake” relationship for the last six weeks.
Dave promises he’ll figure out how to get out of his own head, and both choose to stay another week. Somewhere out there, the fish start attempting to jump out of their tank.
The Goodbyes: Eliot and Veronica
Oh no! We had such high hopes for them!
This couch session is actually quite interesting, just because Eliot in particular is painted like a tired, sensitive golden child. It’s a far cry from what he entered the experiment as.
Veronica says she feels like Eliot makes jabs towards her, implies that her emotions are out of control and by the time any of their conversations end she feels like she’s “lost her mind”. Despite the fact she’s just described textbook gaslighting, everyone is acting more sympathetic to Eliot, because Rhi said in her three days with him, he was normal and taught her card games.
This turns into a weird debate about Veronica saying Eliot has never tried to teach her a card game, to which he basically says he plays card games all the time, which actually doesn’t really dispute what she says. He didn’t say “I’ve offered to teach you all the time” but for some reason the fact he played chess and other games on retreat is a sign that he’s not lying.
The experts are left wildly confused about what’s happening between the pair as both their stories continue to contradict each other. What I’m curious about is why Rhi got to give her two cents about living with Eliot and him not being difficult, but Veronica wasn’t given the same grace and no one asked Dave what their three days together were like. Interesting, isn’t it?
“One is saying it’s black, one is saying it’s white,” Expert John muses, while Teejay, for some reason, adds another line. “One says it’s black, another says it’s a microwave,” he says very seriously.
Okay then!
After Eliot says he feels like Veronica hates his guts (probably true), Veronica says she doesn’t and apologises to him and says she really did try. Instead of just accepting this, Eliot replies, “That felt like you did hate me,” giving us a glimpse into exactly how every single one of their convos probably played out, but for some reason this is also ignored.
Finally, they both say they’re leaving, and John commends Eliot on breaking his patterns and winning over the… group? “We are thrilled at the progress and self-development,” John says, to which Eliot replies that he’s learned that, you shouldn’t “judge a book by its cover and you can’t have too many preferences”.
The experts are thrilled at this. A 35-year-old man has finally learned the lesson most of us did at seven years old. A job well done!
Remind me to never book in with these psychologists.
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