SHIT CREEK NSW Beach Report proves Coogee really is just a bit shit (literally)

BY: Kartya Vucetic
Beachwatch NSW has released its annual water quality report this week, and in doing so, appears to have finally settled the age-old Bondi versus Coogee debate.
According to the data, Coogee was rated “Poor” for water quality, putting it among Sydney’s worst-performing beaches. Little Bay also flunked, while Bondi managed a respectable “Good” and Palm Beach came out on top with a “Very Good.”

Image: Coogee Sands Hotel and Apartments
At the other end, Foreshore and Gymea Bay Baths were the only two sites in the entire state to score a “Very Poor,” which to be honest, feels self-explanatory.

In what world am I dipping a single toe into this | Image: Gymea Bay Baths, Rockpools Sydney
The report is based on microbial water quality. Or, in normal-people terms, measuring how much literal shit is in the water. Across the state, 76 per cent of monitored swim sites were graded “Good” or “Very Good,” meaning they’re safe for swimming most of the time. 95 per cent of ocean beaches were considered to have performed well, which in the scheme of things seems pretty good to me.

Remember these? | Image: Randwick City Council
Coogee’s result, though, isn’t exactly shocking. This is the same beach that made headlines last year when those mysterious black balls of sewage washed ashore.
From shit on shore to shit in the ice-cream, the place has kind of become known for it. Anyone genuinely shocked by this news has to got be either an Irish backpacker or someone who just doesn’t get out enough.
