PUNCHES, NANDOS AND TRIPLETS MAFS’ darkest dinner party just aired and now I need a fucking exorcism
BY: Tahlia Pritchard
If you watched MAFS dinner party tonight, we don’t blame you if you’re currently staring at a now-blank TV screen stunned, with an empty bottle of wine in front of you.
From forced apologies to couples on the brink of breaking up, and one groom completely losing the plot and risking being kicked off the show, MAFS delivered maybe the most chaotic dinner party episode yet in its long, sordid history.
Let’s just dive straight in because there’s a fair bit to unpack.
Paul has done something very, very bad
Things aren’t good and for once it’s not because Adrian is on our screen mumbling something incoherent about no one listening to his feelings.
This might possibly have been the most tense MAFS dinner party ever | Image: Channel 9
We learn that Paul, Carina, Rhi and Jeff all went out for dinner off-camera, and things took a turn when they were heading home. Carina remarked that she once slept with a rapper. Everyone thought this was just a bit of a funny tale to share because the rapper’s song had just come on the radio, minus her husband Paul.
The rapper’s name is not mentioned, but rumours have been circulating Carina has a friendship of sorts with Drake. I thought he didn’t hook up with anyone over 30 because that would be far too elderly for him, so the jury is out on this one.
Carina even recently was in contact with Drake while he was in Australia | Image: Daily Mail, Instagram @chlocarolina
“If Jeff told me he had hooked up with Dua Lipa I’d be like, ‘holy shit, well done’,” Rhi remarked in her confessional, something I think we can all agree with. Jeff barely knew how to look Rhi in the eye on their wedding day. If he pulled Dua Lipa, I think we’d all be cheering him on and asking for dating advice.
Anyway the real story is that Paul had a totally normal reaction (sarcasm, obvs) when he got home and decided to punch a wall out of anger. How dare Carina once live a life without him!
The next day, he tearfully apologised to her, looking like a broken man (without a broken hand) while trying to explain that when he’s mad, he needs to be left alone.
That’s gonna be a big not-fucking-cool man moment.
Even stepping out of the car, we can see that things aren’t all that fucking great between them
At the dinner party, Paul confesses to the group
Giving another tearful apology and addressing it with the whole table, Paul tells everyone what he did. For once, the dinner party is silent. Even Morena is silent. You could literally hear a pin drop in that room.
“This is bad,” expert John says wisely. “This is something that can never happen again. Not ever.”
Thankfully Dave addresses it head-on, saying Paul’s let them down and he doesn’t condone his actions. In the background, Clint is tucking into dinner like he hasn’t heard just one of the most absurd things of his whole entire life. Is this man a robot? I think so.
Robot man indeed
Adrian and Awhina have another fight because, well, he’s a POS
Moving on to nearly as sordid things, the group backs Awhina when asking Adrian how he has made any effort to salvage their relationship this week. In an absolutely not-so-shocking twist, he has made zero effort. In fact, he tried to say taking Awhina for a walk, and suggesting a movie night (which never happened, btw) was him putting in effort. Who said romance was dead?
No wonder this poor woman is exhausted, she is constantly dealing with bullshit
“Have you guys gone out for a nice dinner?” someone asked as Adrian dropped the most romantic sentence of all time: “We went to Nando’s once.”
I just know that Awhina paid for that mid range spicy chicken.
Then, Jamie has her mic drop moment. “Adrian, if your siblings think this is the most you’ve ever shown up in a relationship, then you must’ve just been breathing in the other ones.”
GET HIM, SIS.
Morena accidentally drops the funniest line of the episode
By now, we all know the dramatic baby news that MAFS teased all week was just the fact that 53-year-old Tony decided he was finally ready to become a father. Sadly, this also came with the realisation that Morena (aged 57) won’t be the woman for him.
The way the show teased a baby bombshell, only for us to find out some allegedly infertile man from Wollongong was making up excuses to run away from his wife after he wrote ‘stay’, is absolutely shambolic. This is why I have trust issues!
Pictured: Tony thinking about the baby he definitely does not want
Morena, who, credit where credit is due, clued on weeks ago that Tony was judging her on her age, did what all Italians do and threw her hands up in the air. This was all while the group tried to wrap their heads around Tony’s fatherhood dream.
Tony, fed up and apparently longing for a child, finally snapped at Morena and her inability to use an inside voice. “When you get angry, the way you do, it pushes me away,” Tony tells her. “You know how beautiful you are and how pretty you are. But your personality gives me the shits, man.”
Honestly, goals, that’s all I’ve ever wanted someone to say to me.
Hilariously, even Adrian covered his face during this exchange, which is saying something, because he seems to be one of the most morally corrupt people I’ve ever witnessed on this show.
In some much needed comic relief for the episode, Morena earnestly says in her confessional: “I hope God sends him triplets.”
Jacqui decides Rhi owes her an apology for uh, Jacqui texting Rhi’s husband behind her back
Just when you think this episode couldn’t get more batshit insane, Jacqui decides Rhi needs to apologise to her for, uh, *check notes* Jacqui texting Rhi’s husband Jeff behind her back.
Jacqui is incredibly talented at bringing up things that she herself doesn’t want brought up
Unimpressed that Rhi has brought the incident up in front of the group and in front of the experts, Rhi somehow manages to keep a relatively cool facade as Jacqui retracts her own apology to Rhi and accuses Rhi of humiliating her.
“Why are you still bringing it up?” Jacqui, the person who brought it up and who has never been able to let anything go, says.
Rhi tells Jacqui she doesn’t want to fight with her and apologises to her for making her feel bad in front of everyone. Jacqui finally relaxes, vindicated.
“I’m quite happy to be honest,” Jacqui says.
Well, at least someone is this episode.
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Why would Carina show off about sleeping with the rapper, was it her turn to get a bit of drama going! She should be ashamed, of her slutty behaviour.