Maxim Hot 100 Halloween Party guests gifted bottles of lube and a Chemist Warehouse cologne with distinct notes of Uber driver

Ahh…how I love being a woman. And not just that, but a woman in 2024. Because despite multiple waves of feminism, the suffragettes, and a nearing goal of equal pay, it really is nights like Halloween that reset society back to its factory settings.

And no place could ring this statement more true than the Maxim Hot 100 Australia party.

Last night, an unruly mix of influencers, OnlyFans stars and older men with loose ties to the magazine descended upon Arcade in Sydney’s CBD to celebrate…well…uh…very hot people. The drinks flowed, the music rang through, and a very big tuna was killed and chopped up for the non-carb eaters.

Timing the event with the eve of Halloween made perfect sense, because as far as I was concerned, I had landed in my very own personal version of hell.

But I won’t sit here and claim that everything was doom and gloom. Rumour has it this will be the final Maxim Hot 100 Halloween party in the foreseeable future, and there is a part of us that is sad to see it go. I don’t know, I guess there was a certain 2007 je ne sais quoi about the whole thing. I’m convinced there was a momentary rip in the time continuum, and I can now visualise where I would have ended up if I was born in the 80s and never breastfed.

Now look, I’m not going to award any best dressed awards. Frankly, everyone wore iterations of the same costume. Catwoman. Red latex-y devil. Fallen angel. Etc. What I will give props to, however, is that people really did commit to the bit.

Scary or sexy, naughty or nice, most guests cast judgment to the side and simply leaned into the night. Play by the rules, and you were rewarded with goodie bags filled with Maxim magazines, bottles of lube and a Chemist Warehouse cologne that sends me straight back to that 3am Uber drive home from Club 77 last Saturday night.

And that’s the recap. What a night it was. Turns out when you mix enough Britney spears costumes, free booze and feelings of the impending doom of irrelevance, you get a pretty fucking funny party. You get a Maxim party.

Scroll down to see all our piccies from the night.