MAFS’ Danny announces sex toy line, confirms product range will be “very me, you know what I mean”

In a move that has surprised absolutely no one, Married At First Sight contestant Danny, otherwise known to Bec this season as ‘Danaconda’, has announced he will be launching his own sex toy line.

The reality TV groom, who has spent the majority of the season alternating between speaking in a borrowed Peaky Blinders accent and reminding viewers that he is, in fact, a bit of a lad, said the venture felt “very on brand, very me, you know what I mean”.

While full product details have not yet been released, industry insiders expect the range to include a luxury vibrator that reportedly gets you most of the way there before abruptly giving up at the last minute.

The line, titled ‘Desire by Danny’, marks the reality TV groom’s first official business venture following the show. He is expected to position itself in the premium lifestyle category, a phrase that, much like ‘Desire by Danny’, may take the Australian public a moment to process.

Editor’s Note: All quotes in this article have been fabricated for the purposes of satire. The existence of ‘Desire by Danny’, unfortunately, has not.