David Warner takes a dip at Maroubra Beach with Candice and the kids. Writer has a ‘big’ idea.

Millions of Aussies love and watch cricket. Im not one of them. Frankly I’d rather watch Home Alone 4; Taking Back The House for the eighth time than watch cricket. Formula One, tennis, UFC, rugby all to my liking but cricket just puts me to sleep. Hey brilliant idea why not add 45 minutes of cricket commentary to the Calm app? No need for a bedtime story by Matthew McConaughey or Cillian Murphy just a good 45 minutes of test cricket commentary. Works every time.

As far as Im concerned cricket has two things going for it. One is its utility to my nap times and two the WAGS. Love me some good WAG gossip. I really miss the days of Pup and Bingle antics. He’s retired now and she’s now married to Mr Sam Worthington with three kids. Not much gossip out of the Worthington camp these days but Pup is still good for a laugh and will hopefully keep delivering some ‘good content’. If last years “you fucked her, you banged her, you fucking dog” park brawl with Jade and Karlos in every wealthy bogans favourite holiday destination is anything to go by then Ive no doubt Pup will become more famous for his love life antics than at the peek of his cricket career.

Now to Candice. Im grinning but Im not going to make any mention of things past. The past is the past. Lets leave it there and focus on the now. Now it’s time for a cheeky middy to two down at The Royal. If I see you there and you are watching cricket and I ask you the score…just know Im taking the piss.

Here’s Mr and Mrs Warner enjoying a morning dip at the beach. Credit: MATRIX