SPOILER ALERT We papped Katie Johnston arriving to the MAFS hotel alone, so it looks like the writing’s on the wall for this union

BY: Kartya Vucetic

I’d say opposites attract, but I just can’t give it to the experts this time. What. The. Fuck. After their decision to pair Australia’s newest sweetheart, Katie, with Tim Gromie, aka the literal devil incarnate, we’ve officially lost all hope in the world.
Tonight, the second episode of MAFS unveiled two more marriages entering the experiment. And while we’re already seriously shipping Jamie and Dave, let’s be real. Everyone’s locked in on whatever the fuck that wedding between Katie and Tim was.
Let me catch you up to speed…
After some less-than-thorough analysis, the experts this evening decided to pair 37-year old Queenslander, Katie Johnstone, with 38-year Tim Gromie. Katie is a country girl, fiery redhead and literal CEO of a social enterprise. She might best be described as the most beautiful human ever. She’s kind, bubbly and obviously here for the right reasons, which is hard to say for a show like MAFS. We as the collective must genuinely protect her at all costs.
We love Katie | Image: Channel 9
And then there’s him…
Now, without saying I told you so, I fucking told you so. Just hours ago were my spidey senses tingling that this ‘nice guy’ maybe wasn’t all that nice. And you know what? Nail on the bloody head with that one.
This self-proclaimed nice guy isn’t all that nice | Image: Channel 9
Aside from his generally nauseating presence, I suspect the man is more thumb than human. Not only does he literally wipe away his first kiss to his beautiful bride, but he continues to ignore and humiliate her in new and original ways all night.
“I normally go short, petite. I normally go blonde…It’s just totally not what I wanted,” he whines to producers, talking about her as if she’s literally inanimate. I guess in doing so he confirms our suspicions that he also probably visits Patong Beach every year with the boys. Perhaps inflation has also hit the mail order bride industry, I wonder?
Honestly, I could go on all night finding creative ways to insult this man, but he frankly doesn’t deserve it. What we do know, however, is that gorgeous Katie won’t have to put up with this man’s bullshit for much longer.
In fact, our papped images from filming last year show her arriving to the MAFS hotel solo, so he’s clearly been given the boot. And while we hate to see her upset, I think I speak for everyone when I saw I’m glad that woman isn’t wasting another second of her time.
Anyways, I’m over and out.