OF THE DAY Local Bondi woman panics upon learning flight to Paris stops in Doha, momentarily acknowledges existence of the Middle East
BY: Kartya Vucetic
A 27-year-old local woman from Bondi has been forced to briefly confront the existence of geopolitics today, after noticing that her upcoming flight to Paris includes a layover in Doha, Qatar. It was a city she previously believed to be “in Dubai or like, part of Emirates or something.”
The woman, identified as Samantha, reportedly booked the Qatar Airways flight months ago via Skyscanner, having been attracted by the promise of complimentary hummus and a flatbed seat for under 90,000 points. However, recent headlines involving escalating conflict in the Middle East has prompted Samantha to enter what sources are calling a “light spiral.”
“Wait…is Qatar next to Israel? Or is that Iraq? Or…like…I don’t want to die on my way to a croissant,” said Samantha, while forwarding her itinerary to both her mother and her group chat titled ‘Baguette Baddies 2025’.
Eyewitnesses report that Samantha has now read three paragraphs of an article on ABC News and is “pretty sure there was something about airspace” before getting distracted by a Vogue guide to “The Ultimate Capsule Wardrobe for a Saint-Tropez Summer”.
Samantha’s current Pinterest board
Friends say this is the most politically engaged she’s been since the 2020 US election, when she briefly reposted a black square on Instagram before taking it down a few months later.
“I just don’t understand why we can’t fly direct anymore,” she reportedly muttered, while Googling “safe airports for girls 2024” and asking ChatGPT to “explain the Middle East in like, two lines but funny.”
Despite claiming she’s now definitely across the situation, Samantha has decided to manifest safety and spend her time to re-downloading Duolingo to start learning French again for the third time.
