RECAP TIME This season of MAFS has once again proven to us all straight men need therapy ASAP
BY: Tahlia Pritchard
We did it, fam. We’ve survived 40 whole episodes of MAFS for 2025. That’s… so many hours that I was just about to roughly calculate but I failed maths in high school. But luckily now we have AI, and I just put into Google, “What is the summary of 40, 90-minute long episodes” and Google said, “Hey dumb bitch, I bet you just wasted three months watching MAFS haha! 90 minutes per episode multiplied by 40 episodes equals 3600 minutes or 60 hours of viewing time.”
We’re all sick in the head, I tell ya.
So for one final time, let’s recap the last episode of 2025.
Here’s what happened in tonight’s MAFS finale
Jamie and Dave bravely relive their painful story arc
Jamie and Dave kicked things off first to relive their once-promising, now redundant relationship, with Alessandra really getting to the nitty-gritty of things with them. “Are you disappointed things didn’t work out, Jamie?” she asks, while Jamie looks at her on the verge of tears.
Honestly, if these people are psychologists, I should be allowed to be one too.
Upon watching their montage, Dave says he’s ashamed of how he handled things and apologised for ruining “something so special”, even though he’s basking in the relief of everything being over. Look, at least he can take accountability. Most of the other men don’t, but more on that in a bit.
“Who knows, maybe like Rhi and Jeff we’ll get matched next year, Dave and I,” Jamie jokes, making light of the whole situation. She’s a queen. God bless Jamie, the hero of this season.
Folks, we can finally step off the Adrian and Awhina rollercoaster of lust
Adrian and Awhina are up next, with Awhina admitting to the fact she once mentioned Adrian’s flop business in a talk with Sierah, and also threw in that he was in the experiment for the wrong reasons.
It’s dropped that Adrian got a call from Sierah where she propositioned him to come back into the reunion together with her as a fake couple, a proposal he declined. Take notes, Paul, lmao.
Anyway, after Awhina calls out Sierah for hating on her for no good reason, Adrian and Awhina rewatch their spicy journey. While it all looks nice and horny for some time, some bombshells are thrown in when Adrian gets caught out in some of his own lies – like the time he told Awhina he hadn’t cheated before when he very much had, and when he told Sierah that they should do the wife swap.
“My person would never make me feel like this,” Awhina said, reflecting back on her three months of arguing and making up with Adrian. In a moment I’d like to think is genuine, Adrian apologises to Awhina for making her feel unwanted.
Could this be growth? Probably not, but at least this toxic rollercoaster is over for the pair. I think.
The warrior and his mortal enemy take the couch
Ryan and Jacqui take their rightful thrones as King and Queen of saving this season, and everyone expresses their shock at how quickly Jacqui and Clint’s relationship timeline has moved, with Jacqui set to move in with Clint after, uh, two whole weeks of dating.
Jacqui, quite rightfully, points out everyone signed up to get married to and live with a stranger at first sight, so like, none of the Judge Judy’s really have a leg to stand on.
Ryan tries to do the “Clint was my mate and he started talking to my missus” thing but no one really cares that deeply, so we move onto the best part: Rewatching the shitshow that was Ryan and Jacqui’s relationship, including the infamous moment Ryan dropped Jacqui on her head on their wedding day.
“What an incredible journey,” Mel diplomatically says as we watch the numerous fights, the constant moments of Ryan being a dickhead, and the hundreds of times Jacqui contradicted herself.
Clint says he cannot believe some of the behaviour Ryan demonstrated throughout the experiment and said watching the montage has only made him fall for Jacqui more.
Look, let’s just all agree, all’s well that end’s well. Jacqui and Clint will go back to their Tassie lives and pump out some eccentric mini-versions of themselves, and Ryan will go home to kiss his samurai sword. Everyone’s happy!
Paul’s not feeling so curious in his last couch session with Carina
Paul was still on his journey of trying to prove to everyone that he wasn’t the sole Bad Guy in his relationship: Carina actually is insecure and judgemental! So of course he had to punch a wall, or go on another date with a stranger, or throw her under the bus or whatever.
“Carina wasn’t showing me her true self because she worries a lot about her image,” Paul says, after the woman forgave him numerous times for being a pretty shitty boyfriend.
We watch back on Paul and Carina’s journey and everyone gets to see how much of a flop he is. It ends with Carina dumping his sorry ass, and before Paul goes and cries in the bush, he wonders aloud to a producer what he could do to convince her to stay with him.
The whole room falls into a tense, awkward silence, as Paul starts to say he’s made mistakes along the way, but guess what, Carina has too!
John, who is wildly fed up and longing for retirement at this point, steps in to lecture Paul about all the times he broke Carina’s trust. “I don’t like to see someone blame the person who’s been on the receiving end,” John says sternly. “Frankly, it made me sick in the stomach.”
Paul eventually agrees he has “a lot” to work on (Jacqui should help him out by writing a list) and he has made some terrible mistakes and he will improve.
I’d nearly bet my entire salary on the fact that none of these men have gone to therapy post-MAFS.
Love still exists thankfully with Rhi and Jeff
Ending things on a sweet note, so MAFS viewers can be gaslit into perhaps applying for the next season of the show, we watch Rhi and Jeff’s montage of friends-to-lovers, and when it’s all condensed into one, quick story, it’s all a bit bloody cute isn’t it??
The editors fast forward to a savage cut where they show Jeff saying “he’d be the dumbest person in the world” to participate in the Grass Is Greener challenge, quickly panning to Paul looking uncomfortable. Lol. One last jab.
The golden couple are quizzed on whether they’ve dropped the L bomb yet. “Don’t leave us hanging!” John exclaims. I take it to mean everyone is in lockdown in that room, it’s 4am, they’re all hungover from the night before, and they can’t leave until Jeff and Rhi are forced to say “I love you” for the first time on camera so the show can wrap up nicely.
They say it, everyone claps, it’s a beautiful moment, and with that… we’re free.
But, what the fuck do we do NOW?!
I want a Jacqui and Clint reality TV show ASAP, tbh.
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