DAMAGE REPORT Tonight on MAFS, the impossible happened. Brook has outdone Martha’s wine toss.
BY: Kartya Vucetic
Ladies and gentlemen, before I continue, I must take a brief moment to reflect. Because what the actual fuck was that.
For years, producers have scoured this nation trying to manufacture a Martha 2.0, someone capable of delivering a dinner party that genuinely stops Australia mid-scroll. And tonight? They finally found someone who could.
And it’s all thanks to the woman of the hour, Brook | Image: Channel 9
Except this wasn’t iconic. It wasn’t camp. It wasn’t a wine toss.
It was feral.
Brook arrived, having chooses violence, and went straight for the jugular of literally half the table. And not in a “sharp one-liner, clapback queen” way. In a sustained, deliberate, deeply uncomfortable way.
Exhibit A: “I just think you’re fucking dumb” to Stella.
Exhibit B: “You ratchet idiot” to Alissa.
Exhibit C: “Temu Conor McGregor” to Danny.
And, because apparently we were still warming up, circling the table chanting “Looooooserrrrr” with two thumbs in the air like this was Year 9 camp.
This was giving high school bully energy | Image: Channel 9
I genuinely wouldn’t expect that from a group of 16-year-olds, let alone an adult woman who knows she is being filmed for national television. Honestly, I half anticipated her about to shove someone into a nearby locker, it was that bad.
Because there’s drama. And then there’s bullying.
Drunk. Stressed. Sleep-deprived. Bad edit. I’m sure the explanations will roll in at speed. And to be honest? None of them really land. At all.
This is what they saw in their final moments
What we watched was a person choosing to go low. Repeatedly. With confidence. If you felt uncomfortable watching it, fair, because it was uncomfortable.
Anyways, my advice? Make yourself a cuppa. Avoid chanting “loser” at strangers. And whatever you do, don’t think of the MAFS Chucky doll.
