RECAP TIME MAFS’ Awhina tries to leave Adrian, and one couple bid farewell to experiment after a plate of meat gone wrong
BY: Tahlia Pritchard
It’s commitment ceremony time of the week again on MAFS and we all know what this means: it’s the episode where a bunch of adults show that they have the ability to write “leave or stay” on a card (yes, even Adrian), and then explain in unnecessary detail as to why they drew a heart or a smiley face next to it, just like a kindergarten child showing their parents a bad drawing they did at school that day.
And guess what, folks? We do have one couple depart the experiment, and no, it’s not Tony and Morena, whose existence I had entirely forgotten about by this point.
For some reason, Jacqui and Ryan are good again, and he’s even practising “dipping” her without dropping her on her head. Look, I’m no doctor, but at this stage I think the way he dropped her on her head on their wedding day has caused irreversible damage. The fact that she still wants to try and make things work with this man is truly baffling. But more on that in a bit…
Awhina and Adrian are in different apartments now but they chat before the commitment ceremony kicks off, and Adrian thinks for some insane reason that Awhina owes him an apology. This doesn’t happen, so he stomps out yelling things like, “You can’t win with these women!” Someone needs to remind Adrian that relationships are not actually a game. You can’t win or lose, buddy. That’s not how it works.
MAFS fans: at midnight tonight we’re all gathering in a prayer circle and manifesting Awhina’s escape from that relationship.
Without further ado, here’s an update on all the MAFS couples’ statuses after the commitment ceremony.
Eliot and Veronica: Still together (somehow)
Veronica took the chance to publicly voice her disappointment at Eliot after the way he treated Lauren at the dinner party, and Eliot did the unthinkable – he apologised to Lauren and it actually came across as somewhat sincere. Look, guys, it’s not often a millennial man takes accountability for anything, so credit where credit is due. Veronica proudly took his hand after this so all’s well that ends well?
Clint and Lauren: Definition of arranged marriage
The words coming out of these two suggest things are going exceptionally well, but the distance between them on the couch is enough for even Dave to be able to slide in and fill the space. They both pretend they’re attracted to each other and stay another week, with Clint calling Lauren “the most stunning person in the room” which is now hilarious given he’s banging Jacqui.
Ryan and Jacqui: Together and their future children would need a lifetime of therapy
These two cosy up on the couch and Jacqui rips her rap sheet out of her bra and look, regardless of whether you love or hate her, we can’t deny this woman is entertaining us all and somehow saving the show at this point.
For some reason Jacqui brings up being dropped on the wedding day again (perhaps the fall has affected her memory?) and while Ryan has practised dipping her three times, it’s still not enough and she needs more flowers These two things obviously go hand in hand, what do you mean you’re confused and not keeping up?
Anyway, hopefully Clint is dipping Jacqui better these days.
In a rare moment, expert John is basically left speechless watching the pair on the couch but somehow recovers to say he thinks the couple are onto a better path. So, TL;DR: John’s a liar.
Ryan says he’s committed to bringing out the best in them while calling their bond “chaotic and catastrophic”, and Jacqui says she owes it to Ryan to see if he can “be the man he can be”. Whatever that means. Even Adrian is looking confused. And that’s saying something, given he clearly has a listening problem.
Jeff and Rhi: Together and have banged
There’s nothing quite like celebrating the most intimate act you can do with someone by telling over one million Australians that you finally banged. Again. Thankfully, Alessandra’s intimacy week and Jacqui’s questionable behaviour has made Jeff and Rhi horny for each other and they’re officially out of the friend zone.
The weirdest part of this whole thing was when Jacqui apologised to Rhi, but, just after appearing content with Ryan on the couch, flipped and tried to explain why she messaged Jeff in the first place. “I am in a position where I can’t handle Ryan on my own, because it’s just constant,” Jacqui said.
OK I am not sure WHY this isn’t causing alarm bells for everyone? Is no one else concerned about the gravity of this statement? Aren’t there meant to be three psychologists there on the lounge? Will someone get to the bottom of this Ryan and Jacqui mess once and for all?!
Billy and Sierah: Officially quit MAFS
Yep, another couple bites the dust and it’s time to say goodbye to Billy and Sierah who could barely even look at, or say goodbye, to each other. Billy apologised for his wife-swap comment and Sierah apologised to Awhina and not Billy about the plate of meat she shared with Adrian.
Billy got his moment where he got to speak his truth to Sierah about her lack of effort. Bizarrely, that made Sierah regret her decision to write ‘leave’, even though she’s had at least four weeks to try and have any sort of conversation with Billy or share a plate of meat with him. For some reason, expert Mel encourages this train wreck of a pair to keep talking outside of the experiment despite the fact they could barely talk during it. Sure!
Teejay and Beth: Lowkey forgot they existed, but they’re set to stay another week
IDK what it is about these two, they’re doing and saying all the right things but I also just don’t believe they have a connection. Sorry! Good luck or whatever!
Dave and Jamie: Our best shot at happiness
Daddy and Mummy, please never get divorced. Jamie casually throws around the L-bomb as she says she has “love for Dave” but isn’t “in love” yet, while Dave says he “cares about [Jamie] so much”.
Just get married already! But for real.
Paul and Carina: European Barbie and Ken are still in la-la land
I’m not sure what bubble these two exist in, but I can’t tell if I envy it or if I am grossed out by it. They happily tell the experts that they’re having discussions about their future and then just stare into each other’s eyes and I feel like I have to leave the room.
Tony and Morena: Tony Time lives for another week
Despite the fact they wore matching outfits to the dinner party which, for some reason, makes everyone assume that a couple is doing well, Morena is not loving Tony Time. In fact, she’s sick of Tony wanting to fist-bump her and put her in a headlock, which he explains is his way of showing affection because apparently he’s 53 turning 4.
Despite the fact these two are clearly never going to get romantically attached, they stay for another week and Tony gives Morena a big hug which he has to clarify is not actually a headlock.
Ahhh, young love.
Adrian and Awhina: Awhina is held hostage
After Adrian spat the dummy and disappeared from the experiment last week, he still had the audacity to look shocked when Awhina opted to leave. But because he chose to stay, the two are held hostage for another week in MAFS purgatory.
In a touching moment, Big Dave speaks up for Awhina telling Adrian that she’s “gorgeous” and he should be more open to exploring their connection seriously, which causes Awhina to burst into tears. We love a sensitive king, in touch with his emotions! We mean Dave, obviously. Don’t get it twisted.
Until next week – if you need me, I’ll be desperately trying to break Awhina out of Skye Suites.
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